dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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