Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize