So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
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Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
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I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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