i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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