Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize