And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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