she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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