I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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