he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
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I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
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Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize