I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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