Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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