If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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