If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
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his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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