whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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