Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
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keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
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It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize