can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
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You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
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I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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