I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize