ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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