the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
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You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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