it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
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Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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