so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
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My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize