Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize