he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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