i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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