youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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