The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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