I am puke
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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