I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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