He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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