Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize