Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize