im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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