Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize