you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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