omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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