i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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