SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have fence marks all over my body
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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