Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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