Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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