you would pick up someone in the library
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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