well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize