I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize