Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize