I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
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Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
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And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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