i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize