just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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