Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
PS: I just woke up from my shower
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
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