Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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