i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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