Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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